Employee gets job at same company as childhood friend, gets offended when she refuses to mentor her: 'I told her it was not my job'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 28, 2025 9:00 AM EST

Settling into a new job is never easy.

Even when the role is something that you have years of experience in, getting to know a new company, new coworkers, and a potentially new set of expectations takes a lot of time, and often, the occasional mistake as well. It can be difficult to tell whether a job is going to work for you based on the interview alone, and those first months can be crucial in revealing what the experience will be like going forward.

As a result, it can feel reassuring when you already know and are friendly with somebody who works at your new workplace. A familiar face can really help you feel comfortable, but at the same time, it is important to maintain some professional boundaries. Just because you hang out when off the clock doesn't mean that you should work together. In fact, this can sour a relationship.

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  • two women sitting in a meeting room together with tablets, one showing the other something on her tablet
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One employee felt like she was learning this the hard way when her childhood friend got a job at the same company as her in a different department. At first, she was happy to give her friend tips on how to settle into her new workplace, but she quickly felt like things were getting out of hand. 

    The new coworker could not stop messaging her and asking for advice throughout the day, and even stopped over at her house after work to demand she help her prepare for an evaluation. She told her that she could not teach her how to perform her entire role, and her friend got upset. She wanted to know if she had been in the wrong.

  • AITJ for telling my childhood friend I would not mentor her for her new job?

    My childhood friend started working at the same company as me in a different department. She told everyone that she felt lucky because she had me as her built in guide. At first I did not mind giving her small tips about the office. Then she
    via Present-Term4320
  • began sending me messages throughout the day asking how to complete tasks that had nothing to do with my role. She even walked to my desk multiple times during meetings to ask for help that she easily could have asked her own supervisor.
    via Present-Term4320
  • two women smile as they sit in a meeting room and write on their tablets
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Last week she showed up at my place after work with stacks of documents from her office and asked if I could explain everything to her before her evaluation. I told her it was not my job to teach her entire role and that she needed to rely
    via Present-Term4320
  • on her own team. She became upset and said she thought I would protect her the way a real friend should. Now she barely speaks to me at work and tells people I betrayed her.
    via Present-Term4320
  • a bird's eye view of a stack of documents on a marble surface
    via 2H Media
  • Antique_Cost384 If she can't handle her own work without you babysitting, that's her incompetence, not your failure. Keep your spine, she's going to have to grow up fast.
    via Antique_Cost384
  • Electronic_Log53 She expected a free mentor not a friend. You gave support until it became unpaid labor. That is her issue not yours.
    via Electronic_Log53
  • SoggyFriesCutie She has a team for a reason. Yeah, it sucks she's salty now, but she's gotta learn to pull her weight. U did what u had to, no guilt trip.
    via SoggyFriesCutie
  • CivilPeace22 You're not betraying her, she needs to learn her own job not lean on you for free training.
    via CivilPeace22
  • New-Plankton2591 Oh she reacting badly a little help is understandable, introducing is nice and showing her who is in her team is protecting a friend, but when it effects your work and isn't even part of your role is ridiculous and then telling people you betrayed her is over the top
    via New-Plankton2591
  • Own-Telephone1846 A real friend would have recognized the professional boundary you drew and respected your time, not tried to guilt you into working off the clock. Her definition of friendship is purely transactional.
    via Own-Telephone1846
  • Intrepid-Badger8708 She obviously has not been given the training or support she needs in her role and is grasping to survive. You're a shitty "friend". Better that she found this out early. You can go back to taking care of number 1 now.
    via Intrepid-Badger8708
  • WelcomeFeisty6865 You're lying. If you were a friend of course you would help her
    via WelcomeFeisty6865
  • Rowan-The-Writer NTJ. Go to HR and report this to them. That is not a friend.
    via Rowan-The-Writer
  • Icy_Huckleberry_8049 NTJ - she needs to learn her job and stop bothering you.
    via Icy_Huckleberry_8049
  • Ginger630 NTJ! She works in a different department. She has a different job. She needs to ask her teammates or her boss how to do her job. Not you. Why is she taking documents out of the office? And asking you to help her? Nope. If she landed the the job on her own, then she is more than capable to do the job on her own.
    via Ginger630
  • LoosePhilosopher1107 NTJ. She's a spoiled, incompetent little baby
    via LoosePhilosopher1107
  • Choice-Razzmatazz347 NTJ she sounds like a very sheltered baby if she thinks as you're friends you're going to hold her hand through every single little thing, this is an adult job out in the real world and that kind of immaturity won't do her well in the workplace.
    via Choice-Razzmatazz347

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